Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
