i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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