If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
