i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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