what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Send help, water and tortillas.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
