Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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