Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
