quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
