Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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