i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize