i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I have feelings that need drinking.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
