Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
