So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
