i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
