my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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