Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
