we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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