Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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