my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
