How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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