I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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