You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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