I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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