Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
