Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I hope mine doesn't look like that
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
