I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize