Please don't use social media to get back at me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
