yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
