Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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