You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
