I don't think brook has ever known best
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
