he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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