I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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