how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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