What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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