Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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