k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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