I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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