she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
