We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
