At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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