Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
