either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
