she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
