Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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