I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
