ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize