i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
