WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
