There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
