You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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