It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
