I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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