Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
