So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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