it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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