i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
