that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
