Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
