i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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