My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
