omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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